This morning I had thoughts going through my head about Chris. Wondering how he was doing. What I could do to encourage Chris to talk more. I also had thoughts wondering what I could do to fix things. Then I realized there was nothing to fix. Its over done. I tried everything I could to make Chris realize he was making a huge mistake. I was willing to forgive him for what he did and realized my fight was over. He doesn't want my forgiveness He doesn't want to be married anymore. There is nothing to fight for. When I gave Chris he time of calm I really had the feeling at times that Chris and I were going not only fix it but we would get stronger then ever. TO deal that its not true and its over is really killing me. I will have an expectation in my head and realize you know what I don't have the right to have that expectation. We are over the same 'rules' of being husband and wife not longer apply.
I am crying again. I put some of these feeling in boxes while I focused on trying to fix things.
No comments:
Post a Comment