How cliché. I realize the man I married and loved for almost half my life isn't who I thought he was.
The man I loved doesn't exists. In one quick whack I lost my husband and my best friend.
He says he loves me but willfully causes me pain. Thats not love. To just keep breaking my heart. I can't take it anymore.
I am sitting here 36 years old and I don't know who the fuck I am. I guess its time to figure it out.
Monday, September 27, 2010
waking up...
I come here to write and realize its been since before July that I wrote anything here.. Much of that time was waiting for my trip to visit my sister. The kids and I went away for 20 days in August. I was looking forward to it as a way to clear my head. To come to term to the end of the marriage.
It was quiet the first few days. Then he broke up with her and then he decided he missed me. That he as so upset adn depressed and was in a dark place.. blah blah blah.. It sounded like he was ready. Ready to at least attempt to see if WE were fixable. I got my hopes up. I was stupid.
I got home. Thought everything was going great and then a week after my return I realized he gotten back with her and was letting me thinking we were all set. It burned
Not only did i see horrible pictures that they shared between each other he texted her pictures of the kids. MY KIDS. to Her.. he was sharing MY children with HER. It made me sick. (you think the nasty naked pictures they sent back and forth of each other would have done it but no he involved our children in his middle life crisis.
i kept trying to get him to talk and I have been trying now for three weeks. I am beyond pissed. I was so close to being able to remove Chris's hold on me. Ready to realize they we were over and he decided to mess with me. It really in insulting and boarderline abusive that he wont' communicate on this matter with me.
i am tired and I just want to wake up ,,,
It was quiet the first few days. Then he broke up with her and then he decided he missed me. That he as so upset adn depressed and was in a dark place.. blah blah blah.. It sounded like he was ready. Ready to at least attempt to see if WE were fixable. I got my hopes up. I was stupid.
I got home. Thought everything was going great and then a week after my return I realized he gotten back with her and was letting me thinking we were all set. It burned
Not only did i see horrible pictures that they shared between each other he texted her pictures of the kids. MY KIDS. to Her.. he was sharing MY children with HER. It made me sick. (you think the nasty naked pictures they sent back and forth of each other would have done it but no he involved our children in his middle life crisis.
i kept trying to get him to talk and I have been trying now for three weeks. I am beyond pissed. I was so close to being able to remove Chris's hold on me. Ready to realize they we were over and he decided to mess with me. It really in insulting and boarderline abusive that he wont' communicate on this matter with me.
i am tired and I just want to wake up ,,,
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)